Thursday, 5 March 2015

I was invited to a Rangers game at home to Ibrox in the early 90's by a Lanarkshire builder, I was naturally delighted to accept. In arriving at the club deck c/w tie & jacket it was explained that Willie was a Celtic fan & had recently fallen out with the Kelly / White dynasty & had taken his custom & customers to Castle Ibrox.
We were 4 at the table joined with 2 couples from up north which led to much convivial conversation & a few drinks.
Walking out onto the Club Deck it was immediately apparent that the Bears sitting in the Debenture seats were fully aware that Willie was a Celt & there ensued some lively banter. My memory was of a close first half with the Dons providing stiff opposition. Half time came and went with the 2 couples enjoying a few brandies & possibly more.
Returning to the stand they were directly behind me, however after 5 minutes she was directly on me. She was blootered, she struggled to keep upright, her struggle to keep the contents of a sizeable Rangers drinks cabinet was however in vain. She was sick. After she was sick she fell in the sick. She was then carted out of the Club Deck much to the amusement of the Bears in rows 3 to 43.
' Willie, I see you've brought your sister' was the cry from a delighted Bear as not only were Rangers 1 up, the Celtic were in disarray & the lady that may indeed not have been Willie's sister was sick & in the sick, however both he & me were slightly splattered.
This story came to mind 2 weeks ago when asked for my thoughts by The Times of London, Scottish edition on the sale of alcohol to ordinary punters. A question of human rights me thought. If the corporate can have a pint then why can't we in the cheap seats?
Whilst not entirely convinced that there is much demand I can't see any reason why for example Elgin City can't approach the local licensing board to set up a wee bar.
The London Times, Scottish edition printed my thoughts & included my wee Ibrox anecdote. This week did I not find myself outside Willie's building factory & after introducing myself we laughed out loud at the memory of  the wifie landing in the sick.
The moral of the story is of course that perhaps we should leave the Corporate to drink themselves into a puddle of sick whilst we continue to drink a puddle of weak Bovril.
By the way Aberdeen drew 1-1 & soon after Fergus McCann saved Celtic. Willie has given up on football & listens to radio phone-ins.

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